Bring Back The Nasty

Posted on Oct 28, 2013

I am hesitant to title this blog post “Bring Back The Nasty’;” I’m afraid of the responses that it might inspire…oh well, it was mom’s idea.
She thinks that she only happens upon good movies at night, on television, if she isn’t nasty. She censors herself 24/7, and is always bright and cheery in the world, no matter what, preventing retribution for any bad behavior.
I posit that she will still happen onto good movies even if she IS nasty, and why doesn’t she try it?
We talked about experimenting with that, and I happened to be on my way to my annual mammogram.
Mom wanted me to say, if there was any pain:
“You dirty rotten bitch you hurt my boobies.”
Me: (to myself) Maybe this blog thing isn’t such a good idea…
and then mom said: “You have the best boobies in the land.”
“Only everything good should come to you, and if anything bad comes to you I will kill it.”
This is definitely a mother’s creed.
It’s a fact that when you have small breasts mammograms really hurt…but I’ve heard that they hurt big breasts too…that’s the way it is, I guess. That said, I’d rather have a mammogram than cancer! No brainer there.
In the name of experiencing the internet with my mom,
I have been “helping” her learn about Facebook, which really means, logging in and putting pix up, etc. FOR her…it is VERY strange to post something for someone else…it feels subversive and strange, even if it is my 77 year old mother. That says something about me, huh? It feels subversive to impersonate my 77 year old mom? I need to get out more.
Maybe we can bring back the nasty on mom’s Facebook page; she can start small.

2 Comments

  1. Riva Scher
    October 28, 2013

    Love this blog! And BTW, mammograms definitely hurt medium-size breasts ( can’t speak to the humongous ones…my daughter and granddaughter can do that). Please tell my friend that I dare her to be nasty!

    Reply
  2. Darcy Danielson
    October 28, 2013

    Picturing Sus as the funny filling in a hilarious sandwich, spread thin between Barbara (may she censor less and freely let fly with her takes on life because, after 77 years, nothing oughta hold her back) and the girls, with their fresh budding views on this wild wonderful existence. Do I hear the sounds of a rollercoaster with the fun house and bumper cars in the background?

    Reply

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